Oh no, oh no, oh no...

IF YOU SEEK AMY is stuck in my head! That is the ABSOLUTE LAST song I need to hear right now!

"La la la lala la la la, la la la lala la la la....
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy..."

ARGHHHHHHH!!!

>.<

Would someone like to force me to start this journaling assignment I'm forced to do for English?

Better. -Ish.

My state of mind is a little calmer, unlike that insane abyss of total chaos. Literally. There are two choices....either he decides to take me back (in a friend way), or he doesn't. I'm bracing myself for the second choice.

When all else fails....MUSIC!

"Cursum Perficio" by Enya. One of the most *extreme* Enya songs, I love it because it sounds so incredibly evil during the first part. 2nd most-played on my iPod.



"The Poet and the Pendulum" by Nightwish. One of my favorite bands. Metal. From Europe. They dip into many genres....this song is the second-longest in my iTunes library at 14 minutes. Epic, very metallish, spazzy at times and just great!



"Cloud Nine" by Evanescence. An awesome Woe Is Me song and one of my favorites off The Open Door, their second album. Great to blast really loudly when you're feeling hurt, or guilty, or like nothing.

Read the one below this entry, and then this explanation for it.

I developed a very special bond with a classmate of mine several months ago. He was more than a friend and despite his obstacles, he was very purpose-driven and understanding, but we were not going out because it hadn't progressed there. Due to some mistakes I made, I think our friendship/bond is over for good. And although I wrote an apology, I don't think he'll forgive me this time, because it was one time too many. He thinks that I made him feel inferior on purpose, although I never meant to hurt him at all. We're in the same ____ class and it will be very difficult to keep on going when we're so close to each other. I actually cried a while after--it was almost impossible to handle at that moment. Now all those positive, happy love songs seem to be mocking me. I can't accuse him because it's against my nature. He won't forgive me this time, even though I'm sitting here waiting for him to come back to me.

I literally feel like I'm spinning, out of control. All those songs lyrics are true.

I'm not mentioning any names here, but

• Although most of the blame lies on me, it's not all my fault. He is VERY perceptive, yet sometimes jumps to conclusions too quickly and he accuses me of some things that aren't true.
• I hurt him unintentionally, and it turns out that his words hurt me in return. Ah, karma.
• So after I read his response, I felt-100% real-- like my chair started spinning sideways into the ground.
  
• It's more than just a friendship, but now it's pretty much gone. he's ready to say goodbye to me for good and I feel like I can't coax another chance from him.
• I feel so bad for hurting him like this. But I never did it on purpose. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes. Over and over again.
  
• Maybe I should become a hermit.
  

Jai Ho! And other things.

I've been a bit broke lately as to music I was lusting after. Finally, I decided what the heck, and bought "Jai Ho" from the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack and the album Inside Out by our very own Emmy Rossum from The Phantom of the Opera fame.

There's actually not much to say about Jai Ho. We almost unanimously like it, right? Sweet song, driving, inspirational, joyful.

About Inside Out:

1. Her style is VERY different from the classical/opera music she grew up with. And don't be expecting anything similar to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, because this is its polar opposite.
2. Okay, so what is her style? She said that her songs were pop, but not bubblegum-pop (meaning not Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera stuff), that her songs were similar to Annie Lennox's style. Those who have heard of Enya, raise your hand. Emmy Rossum works the same way, using lots of voice layering. The effect is very much the same, and quite laid-back and relaxing.
3. Anybody who has seen the music for "Slow Me Down" probably noticed she over-pronounces her open-mouth vowels like "ow" and "ai". My educated guess is that she just does that naturally from her classical-voice training. Old habits die hard.
4. Some of her songs lack substance and seem to search in vain for a theme that's deep.
   And there are always those that rock! <3

Four out of five stars.

Songs you MUST get if you're interested:

1. "Been Too Long" [This is THE BEST song on the entire CD. Just beautiful!!]
   
2. "High" [Cute love song, awesome lyrics]
   
3. "Anymore" [Very personal lyrics, no voice layering unlike all the other tracks.]
   
4. "Slow Me Down" [This songs lacks a bridge, which annoys me. Otherwise very good.]
   

Random list

Stuff that is running my life at this very moment

• Vitamin Water: Dragonfruit
  
• The weather
• Music: "The Last Song I'm Wasting on You" by Evanescence
• Phantom of the Opera. Naturally.
• Need for expression
• Drive to make something out of the time I'm given
  

Re: Jared Leto and Co.

How recently did he go blond? Again?? I've gotten so used to seeing pics of him with black hair. Holy cow! ^_^ Back to the days of the "Capricorn (A Brand New Name)" music video. I'm a fan of his band, but apparently I'm a little behind the times.

Update, just in case anybody's been not-following band news like me. 30 STM's been working really hard on their new album, tentatively called "This is War." Includes a song with Kanye West, surprise surprise, and the band also advertised on their Twitter account asking for any nearby fans in their current Los Angeles base to come on down to record crowd sounds. Guess that means yelling your head off in excitement at being that close to the band and those yells being recorded. Album is set for release later this year. Anyone excited? I am =D