End of an Era

I found out today that I got into Chamber Choir, the auditioned choir group of my school. 

I've been taking choir for seven years now and I think I have a decently good voice. Buuuuuuuuuuut, I have never taken private voice lessons outside of school. So when it comes down to it, I'm lacking in some nuts and bolts of a good singer. So all in all I'm really happy that I got in, but I think I might be at a disadvantage because I believe that a good portion of the Chamber Choir members take voice lessons outside of school. And basically, all of the members in Chamber Choir, whether they had voice lessons or not, are just REALLY GOOD. I bugged my parents several times over the last one or two years about arranging voice lessons, but they don't have time. So part of me feels like a mediocre wannabe intruding on a lively little party reserved only for the really good singers. 

On the upside, I'll be with more people I know well next year, which makes me really happy. Readers, do you have or did you remember that class in school where your classmates were people you hardly knew and that you only had one average friend? Or worse, you didn't know anybody at all? So when they're absent, you feel embarrassed or lonely? That's pretty much the case with me this year in Choir. I have my friends, I love them and they love me, but they number pretty small because a) around half of the choir are freshmen and they tend to remain in their preformed groups, and b) I think there's only one other junior in the non-audition choir group that I'm in, and we aren't that close.

And all this makes me really guilty because one of my very good friends, which may be reading these words, will remain in the non-auditioned group. 

It's all gloom and doom, in'it?

The weather has gone back down to a mumbling, grumbling drizzle promising to upgrade into a torrential downpour later tonight. Flood Watches are officially issued...again!

That same mood of Gloom and Doom has transferred to the whole student body at my school today...the students were largely quiet in my classes, or we were doing minimal-conversation tasks. 

As the sky grays, my homework calls......

After a few quick games of Worms 2. FIREEEEEEE!!

Just don't.

Just to put the idea out there, DO NOT procrastinate on a marking-period project that requires you to do an annotated bibliography--a regular bibliography with a general thesis and how your article or essay supports it. 

Especially if you need to do it on the masterpiece of an author of your choice...

Using five decent-length, understandable essays concerning that masterpiece...

And remembering, of course, the complicated formatting of the finished document...

When it's due the next day.

DON'T.

I've been unfortunate enough to do exactly that.

I finished my annotated bibliography on "The Negro Speaks of Rivers" by Langston Hughes about 15 minutes ago.

I started doing it seriously from about 10 pm, but I think I've made my point clear.

PS: Although you might come home from school and be so exhausted you're sorely tempted to crawl off to bed and nap for three hours, sometimes it's better to work through the sleepiness. Especially if in addition to the annotated bibliography, you also have to finish your outline for a DBQ (Document-Based Question), which is generally not the easiest thing to write.

Survivor's Alert!

Like many of you may know, recently I've been unlucky enough to be plagued by nasty viruses of one kind or another. This is what I've been hitting myself in the head over the last couple of days...and if you're experiencing any kind of erratic computer behavior, keep reading, because this might help you!!! 

(Note: this may only apply to users of Windows Vista.)

• Opening any program such as Mozilla Firefox (which I use), Internet Explorer, Microsoft Paint, Powerpoint, Windows Movie Maker, etc. results in an "OPEN WITH" window that forces you to choose what program you want to open the program with (redundant, I know...but you should choose to open Internet Explorer with Internet Explorer, Firefox with Firefox, etc.)
• It's impossible to open iTunes at all. If you click on iTunes from the Start Menu, it shows a message:

C:\Program Files\iTunes\iTunes.exe
"This file does not have a program associated with it for performing this action. Create an association in the Set Associations control panel."

• Or if you try to open iTunes by clicking on your desktop shortcut (icon), you see a shorter, but similar message like "This application is not available."

...either way, you can't access iTunes. What the *beeeeeeeeep* ?!?!?

Well, let me tell everyone reading this that I am NOT at all a computer-savvy technician of a nerd. I can find my way around just fine, but when someone needs serious help, I'd be the one looking for the helper, not being the helper. But with a million Google searches, I managed to find my way out of this mess! Here's the stuff you really need to know:

I had the great good luck to get infected by a very notorious malware called 
VISTA ANTISPYWARE 2010. 

Other Names This Malware Uses (Alphabetical order):

• Antivirus Vista 2010
• Antivirus XP 2010
• Antivirus Win 7 2010
• Vista Guardian
• Vista Antivirus Pro
• Vista Internet Security
• Vista Internet Security 2010
• Win7 Guardian
• Win 7 Antivirus Pro
• Win 7 Antispyware 2010
• Win 7 Internet Security
• Win 7 Internet Security 2010
• XP Guardian
• XP Antivirus Pro
• XP AntiSpyware 2010
• XP Internet Security
• XP Internet Security 2010

There are many kinds of malware, but one of the most common kinds is a self-installing program that just appears on your computer without explanation that usually tries to scare you into buying their fake anti-virus software. They send you notifications that your computer is badly infected and, like Vista AntiSpyware 2010, may run computer scans by itself without you initiating them. (Yes, really: programs infecting your computer, telling you that your computer's infected. The irony...!)

If the experts are correct, all the supposedly "infected" stuff that shows up in the chart of the scanning window are either fake, don't exist, or are actually NOT infected. 

They are LYING. 
They are a FAKE, MALICIOUS software. 
DO NOT believe them! 
Got that? 
Good.
P.S: The creators of these things should just go to hell.

On a side note, it's always a good idea to do a quick Google search on any programs that show up on your computer and any programs you download, just to make sure you're doing the right thing for your computer. I only found out that Vista AntiSpyware was a rogue malware after doing so.

SO HOW IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD DO YOU ACTUALLY FIX THIS THING?!?

There are one or two ways that I've heard of. Here's one of them, the method that I used:

1. Download the file "FIXEXE.reg" here: download.bleepingcomputer.com/reg/FixExe.reg Or create the file manually (here's a how-to): http://www.2-spyware.com/remove-vista-antispyware-2010.html 
2. Download the free version of Spyware Doctor, a very thorough and efficient anti-spyware software (no lies this time, it's completely safe!) that often picks up infections, worms, tracking cookies, etc. that other programs don't. Download here free: http://www.pctools.com/spyware-doctor-antivirus/
3. Start up Spyware Doctor and run a full scan. 

Keep in mind that the free version of Spyware Doctor cannot remove viruses, worms and general bad stuff that it detects! It can only notify you that you have them.  

HOWEVER, after you finish the full scan, even though it's not the full version and can't delete anything, you should find that you can open up iTunes again and also, all the annoying "Open With" windows have disappeared!

More info here: http://forums.malwarebytes.org/index.php?showtopic=38629

I also recommend downloading MalwareBytes AntiMalware. Like Spyware Doctor, it's also free, very thorough and completely safe. I haven't had the chance to run a full scan of my computer using this, but I know that it works. Here's some info: http://www.myantispyware.com/2010/01/28/how-to-remove-vista-antispyware-2010-vista-antivirus-2010-vista-guardian/ 

Download MalwareBytes AntiMalware here: http://download.cnet.com/Malwarebytes-Anti-Malware/3000-8022_4-10804572.html

HUZZAH!!!!

  

And just in general, DO scan your computer regularly for viruses and things of that nature. I know for a fact that my computer still has a frightening number of infections of varying degrees, but as long as I can open programs without too much fuss, I'm currently apathetic to the other problem. Do not seek to rouse me from my glee!

Computer Issues

So I found out yesterday or the day before that I have a majorly infected computer with malware and viruses galore. Fantastic. It had gotten to the point where I literally could only access Microsoft Word and nothing else...no internet, no Microsoft Paint, no GIMP (similar to Photoshop), nothing. So yesterday I was downloading software and running three or four full scans on my computer, feeling like I had only a quarter of a computer. I became really freaked out, especially since my mom's promised me a laptop for graduation and WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES change the time I receive it. So even if this computer I'm using exploded in my face right now, I still won't get a new one until a year and a few months from now. 

I should also add that it's unfair on our part how software companies offer people a free download of their software, without telling them that if they want to actually GET RID OF the viruses or malware or whatever, they have to purchase the full version.

*Sighs* Well, later yesterday, I was able to use my computer again...with complications. I was so busy trading punches with my computer that I can't even remember clearly now if I actually deleted anything of note that shouldn't have been on my computer. Some of the scans I ran yesterday didn't turn up anything, others did...so I'm sure I still have things of a malicious nature piggybacking on my computer.

PREMIERE

I, Amorailuv, do hereby acknowledge on this day, March 9th, the West End premiere and official introduction of a new Broadway musical, the official sequel to The Phantom of the Opera, called Love Never Dies. 

Winterblues?

The strange thing is, I didn't know how much I missed the sound of birds chirping at 6am until I heard it today when I woke up for school.

And my very first thought was (well, after "don't wanna get up"), "That's the most beautiful thing I've heard in ages."

It was a wonderfully mild, warm-winter day today, 55 degrees, about...and will hopefully keep that way until spring really kicks in. Break out the flip-flops! Huzzah!!

 

My take (sort of) on what "Bohemian Rhapsody" is really about.

I was moseying around on Wikipedia (which I do often when I'm bored, it's actually quite entertaining) after having recently added "Bohemian Rhapsody" to my iPod. In the article for "Bohemian Rhapsody", a music scholar by the name of Sheila Whiteley claimed that lead singer Freddie Mercury wrote this song to express his sexuality (most people agree that Mercury was either gay or bisexual). 




Normally I would have dismissed a radical claim like this, but Whiteley's statement stuck with me and I kept thinking it over...until I privately concluded that she was right. If I'm right in saying so, this is one of those songs that everybody knows but nobody really understands. Queen had often said, both as a group and individually, that they left it up to listeners to understand that the song was talking about. So to explain what I mean further, here are the lyrics: 

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy
I need no sympathy
Because I'm
Easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me
To me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, oooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on
As if nothing really matters

It's too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooh
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche,
Will you do the fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning
Very very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o

I'm just a poor boy,
Nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy
From a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come, easy go
Wiill you let me go?
Bizmillah!
No, we will not let you go!
Let him go!
Bizmillah!
We will not let you go!
Let him go!
Bizmillah!
We will not let you go!
Let me go!
Will not let you go - let me go
Never let you go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh, Mama mia, Mama mia,
Mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has the Devil put aside for me
For me
For me
For me...

So you think you can stone me
And spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me
And leave me to die?
Oh, baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters,
nothing really matters to me

Anyway the wind blows...
_____________________________

Going by stanza, and skipping some:
First, the name is "Bohemian Rhapsody." Bohemians are traditionally non-conformist, freethinking and many tend to be homosexual or bisexual.


Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality

It's really just a hint here, nothing big, but indicates that something's not quite right in the speaker's life and that he has to deal with the consequences. 
 
Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, oooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on
As if nothing really matters

"Mama, just killed a man" <-- thrown away the "normal", heterosexual part of him
"Didn't mean to make you cry...Carry on" <-- Coming out about his sexuality, his desire to flee and how the world will go on anyway.

It's too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooh
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

General: How it hurts to be different and how the speaker has to leave to find himself, face the truth, etc. "I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" speaks for itself.

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche,
Will you do the fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning
Very very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o

Nothing much to say here, but if you know the song or are following the music video, notice how there's a high vocal part and a lower one...almost like a masculine and a feminine voice arguing with each other. Masculine=generic and heterosexual, feminine=his possible homosexual-ness and leanings towards the female gender.




I'm just a poor boy,
Nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy
From a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

"...just a poor boy from a poor family" <-- LGBT's (lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender) come from all over the place. Rich, poor, white, black, city, country, London, Tasmania, etc. "Spare him his life from this monstrosity" is self-explanatory.

Easy come, easy go
Wiill you let me go?
Bizmillah!
No, we will not let you go!
Let him go!
Bizmillah!
We will not let you go!
Let him go!
Bizmillah!
We will not let you go!
Let me go!
Will not let you go - let me go
Never let you go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh, Mama mia, Mama mia,
Mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has the Devil put aside for me
For me
For me
For me...

More high-low/male-female quibbling here. The higher voice pleads, "let him go" while the lower says "No, we will not let you go!" In other words, the higher voice register is asking in general to "let him go" and be who he really is: homosexual (or bisexual). Also, in past centuries people believed (and still believe) that people who are not heterosexual would go to Hell for being different (the Devil).

So you think you can stone me
And spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me
And leave me to die?
Oh, baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

LGBT's have been maltreated for ages and ages, hence the stoning and spitting, and a reprise of the Escapist. 
_______________________





Sorry if this seems out of the blue. I just wanted to put this in print somehow after mulling it over for a few days.

(Yes. This is what I spend my weekends doing.) 

PS: Please do not ask me what I was doing up at 3:34 am. I wish I knew. 

Scheduling in all its Glory and Goriness

So as of right now, this is my schedule for next year's courses:

Creative Writing I and II
Concert Choir
Spanish VI AP
Fashion/Clothing I and II
Lunch
Gym/Health
AP Statistics
English 12 Honors (Senior Seminar)

...and I think I may be eligible for AP English. My guidance counselor was totally wrong when she said I wasn't. But as much as I hate to say it, I might just stay in english 12 honors, because from what I hear, AP is all about grammar and writing. Writing I can deal with, but I basically suck at grammar, so I might drop it. Mom's not gonna be happy.

The Cyclone of School Goes On...

I do not hate school.

No, I do not.

I dislike how cruddy the timing can be at times. I mentioned before how I personally had/have to deal with regular homework, plus the musical this last weekend, plus all the tests they give us right before HSPA's tomorrow, then the HSPA's. All of this crammed into 1 and a half weeks!! Seriously?

But anyway, I'm fairly relaxed for the math HSPA tomorrow, but a little nervous about the English essay. Normally I sail through English like a calm sea (aha! simile! You see that?), but I tend to rush my essay writing until my hand's cramping up insanely in order to write the conclusion and finish in time. So I hope that doesn't happen on Thursday. 

Also, I think my computer might be infected, which is obviously terrible for me. It started acting up and freezing and creating popups and things...It got to the point yesterday where I basically couldn't do ANYTHING on my computer, not even open up a Word Document I'd closed 30 seconds ago! Well, today it's behaving as I use it at present from another computer profile. I have no idea of when this crazyness will end, but I like my computer...a lot...and I really don't want to face my mom's wrath, because this computer isn't terribly old yet. If we have to replace it............

Okay, I'm not even going to go there.